This photo is about a month oldIts been two months since you were born little Henry and I am just now starting to feel like I might be able to blog again. Having a new born is always hard on me and loosing my wonderful grams at the same time has made me slower to recover to my "normal".
Now my fingers are clumsy on the keys as I write-with you strapped to my chest-completely out of practice.
So here goes nothing...I hope I can do the event justice with the words in my still too fuzzy from having no sleep brain.
On February 13th I started to feel my first contractions they were 8 minutes apart and pretty strong...(keep in mind I never had contractions with Owen)...they kept getting closer together until they hit 6 minutes apart on the 14th I was hoping for a Valentines baby. I walked and squatted and took baths and showers and climbed stairs. Nothing made them stronger. We went in to the birth center and got checked( I needed for some progress to have been made) I was 95% effaced and 1.5 cm dilated. The midwife striped my membranes and did a hydro therapy treatment and sent us home to get some sleep...as if that were possible.
The contractions got closer together at about 4 am on the 15th they were about 5 min apart and they were more intense. We went into the birth center thinking this was it...It wasn't. My midwife could tell that I still was only in the early stages of labor. I was so discouraged and tired at this point. I had not slept for two nights and I just couldn't wrap my mind around things getting any more intense. Before we were sent home from the birth center My sweet midwife made us breakfast and gave me a Valerian root tonic to drink. She checked my progress and I was dilated to 4.5 cm but still not in active labor. I went home and was able to rest for an hour or so and then things started getting more interesting. I tried to keep upright but by 7pm there was only one position that felt good and that was sitting sorta leaned back with a heating pad on my back and squeezing the living daylights out of my husbands hand through each contraction.
By 11:30 pm on the 15th the contractions were about 4 minutes apart and I knew I had to go the the birth center. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the car ride if we waited any longer. We made it out there at about midnight(I made M.G drive really slow because the motion made me feel really sick). As soon as we arrived I got into the giant bath tub. My mom showed up a little while after us and I labored with her and M.G in the room for a couple hours. The midwives came in and out to check baby's heart rate but never stayed long...they like to just let you labor in peace. At some point I started to not be able to handle the contractions with out moaning any more(side note I had a nasty cold the week before that left me with no voice so my birth up to this point was basically silent) I then started voicing my ever growing concern that I would definitely not be able to handle what was going to happen.
That clued my midwife in that things might be getting close so she checked my progress again. As she checked me I told her that if I was only at a 6(not sure why I picked this number) we should make a pact that I could go and get a c-section because there was no way I could handle any more intensity(I never asked for drugs...not that they have them where I was but I did this once ask for a c-section). My mom then informed me that I would have to get out of the tub and walk to the car if I wanted to leave...I apparently said I cant get out of this tub mom... you had me at getting out of the tub. With that settled My midwife informed me that I was 9.5 cm dilated and I would be pushing a baby out any time.
She went out to get the team of midwifes and apprentices and they all came back in and watched, waited and encouraged me as I started to push-really my body started to push with out my permission and I just sorta went along un voluntarily for about 15 minutes... then I started to try a little harder. And finally-after changing positions in the tub so I was sitting in my favorite leaned back position-one of the midwifes suggested that I really try working with my body too and start pushing as soon as I felt the pressure and as long as I could...this worked. I pushed hard and I think I was loud about it too. I yelled(as loud as my voiceless self could) "GET. HIM. OUT. OF ME.NOW! After about 50 minutes of pushing my water finally broke and then in the next contraction I pushed out little Henry! I was so excited when they said the head was out that I didn't even pause to let him turn his shoulders...he barreled out of me in one push...which looking back is my one regret as I had to have some pretty nice repair work done later. Henry was placed on my chest and I was astonished by how familiar he looked...not just like Owen but so similar...He was definitely one of mine. I really did love him instantly.I was really impatient about delivering the placenta...I wanted so badly to be done birthing! Eventually it happened and we made it to the bed and after about an hour they cut his umbilical cord, did my repairs and then left us to bond and snuggle with our new son.We Loved our experience out of the hospital using Bella vie Gentle Birth Center! we felt supported and were meticulously looked after before during and after Henry's birth I couldn't recomend anything more!
The whole experience was just mind blowing. It would be impossible for me to deny there is a creator after this whole extravaganza (not that I would any way..but just sayin'). It was the most physically and emotionally demanding thing I have ever done to date.
It doesn't make me feel more like a mom because I gave birth this way(I was a mom already and I am still that same gal). It does make me feel proud! It does make me know I am loved by my Father in heaven. It makes me want to sing praises from the roof tops because He met me there and gave me one of my hearts hugest desires...to do birth the way my body was intended to. I feel different for sure I am so confident in my resolve and strength in Christ. I know now more than ever that there is always something so beautiful after the storm. I know some people don't have to push a baby out to realize this... but hey I did. I am thankful.
I will be back soon much more often... so many fun stories to tell. and a whole new person to share with you all.
