My little's are going thru some rough stuff. Owen has some special needs (we are getting professional help) and Henry is three...so...he hits and occasionally bites and is basically an emotional roller coaster the likes I never dreamed I would encounter (unless of course raising a teen aged girl...or just dealing with my own mind during a certain time of the month).
We used to have this cork board where photos of family and friends as well as random bits of really nicely made children's art hung in our kitchen... It's currently covered in incentive(bribery) posters they cover the whole board! Stickers for this,stickers for that add up enough and I will buy you ice cream. It seems like it's helping? And why not praise good behavior? I run around all day trying to be consistently on top of the undesirable...at least there is a balance of sorts now... Or something.
I just feel lack luster. I've lost the shine. I know why I love being a mom(intellectually)and why I love being home with my kiddos(deep down)... I just feel depressed. And down. And strapped energy and life and anything that seems to provide me with any joy. I need an incentive poster. I want stickers. I need ice cream. Like every day. For lunch. Ugh.
Welp. That's where I'm at.
Not pretty. Depressed. I know it's going to pass( I've been here before and it passes) I will ride it out. Or maybe even get some professional help myself. Lean into it. Into Him. Trust. Ugh. And learn something probably.
The days are long. But the years are short... And might I add that I know that there will be precious few of them. And I know I'm blessed beyond measure even in this extremely hard season.