40 weeks!

Who knew a baby would want to stay inside me for the entire 40 weeks of pregnancy! Actually the way it is looking at this point the little sprout may stay in even longer than that!

me at 40 weeks bad photo I know...

My due date was Monday February 7th and instead of having a baby I caught another cold...cold number 8 in 9 months to be exact. I am powering home the emergen-c usisng the netty pot, taking the elderberry, resting, and using a box of tissues per day. I have been praying a lot that this cold will end fast and that this baby will come even faster. I know I can trust that it will all happen in the right time and I am being taught a powerful lesson in laying my burdens on Him, not listening to lies I want to believe(you will be sick and pregnant forever) and remaining faithful in prayer knowing that He does hear me and that He does loves me so much that He has a plan that will be way better than anything I could hope to ask for.

His plan for Owen was totally unexpected and totally perfect. Who could ask for a better kid? And I know that it will be the same for this next one as well...even though I have to wait a lot longer to meet him.
Hitting our favorite coffee shop Broadway Coffee House(its only 5 blocks away and serves stump town!) and taking what may be our last "family of 3" Photo. It is a strange thing to think of someone else being a part of this family. Strange and wonderful. I am so excited to meet this new little boy I can hardly stand it!
I love the boy I have so much that I really couldn't be happier to have another one to squeeze! So just you wait little baby your gonna get some good squeezin' from all of us here on the outside real soon! Owen keeps asking when the baby will get here and he seems genuinely excited to meet him as well... I love that he gets to have a brother and that I get to have another little to love!

This post is rambling and disjointed... My brain is not functioning on all cylinders at this point and that my writing has suffered tremendously. I still feel the need-however-to document the joys and trials of motherhood. So to try and sum it up I love being Owens momma and cant wait to have this next baby in my arms! I also feel anxious every day that he may never actually get here...silly I know. I am tired of being sick and pregnant but feel guilty even thinking those thoughts because I know I am truly blessed in so many real ways. So there you have it my life and inner thoughts after 40 weeks of pregnancy.
hope to introduce you to the newest littlest Gay very soon!

Waiting

The waiting is the hardest part...

Disappointed

Yesterday was supposed to be my baby shower. I was really excited. I haven't had much social interaction lately(because of the order to rest as much as I can)so I was really excited to celebrate with friends and family. I had to go to the hospital instead.
I had a head ache for a few days and some swelling that had my midwife worried enough to tell me to get my blood pressure checked. The blood pressure was really high-158/90-so she said I had to go to the hospital to get checked for pre-eclampsia. So I went to the hospital instead of my baby shower. I was more than disappointed.
Everything turned out to be OK. I do not have pre-eclampsia(thank the Lord)but the spike in blood pressure and the head aches are still slightly concerning...also I have a higher than normal-for pregnancy-white blood cell count now too. The advice is more rest and more vitamins and more blood pressure checks. Believe me I am great full!I know that I came too close to having my pregnancy ended for me yesterday and I am really glad I don't have any major complications. I feel guilty even complaining a little because God did a great thing in keeping me from having any major problems or a major surgery yesterday. Again I am reminded of how good He is.
At the same time I just feel weighed down by the small complications I do have.I am emotionally tapped out and physically worn down. I feel like I am at my limit for "resting" and "taking it easy" I'm not sure how to do less than I have been doing. I miss being me and being able to have fun with my little in any way we want. I feel really done being pregnant and really ready to meet this new baby.
Please pray this baby will come as soon as possible. I am 38 weeks and considered full term so it would be great if he could come now.
Thanks for your prayers and thoughts.

37 weeks

The midwives I see do this awesome thing when your this pregnant... they paint the baby onto your belly so you can see the position and just for fun.
Owen LOVED it. he was in awe watching them paint it on and also just really loved seeing his brother on the belly. I think he really could visualize him this way. He kept caressing the painting and wanting to kiss my tummy. So sweet. I really enjoyed this experience.

36 weeks!!!

me at 36 weeks

I am officially more pregnant than I have ever been before in my life! Owen came at the very end of my 35th week and this baby is still camped out in the belly. It is really weird to be emotionally ready for the baby to be here and to know I will likely have another 4 weeks left before I meet him.
I am also being advised to rest as much as possible. The midwives and my Dr. want me to do "as little as possible" until baby gets here. My thyroid is not doing what it is supposed to-which is nothing new-but this time it is affecting my adrenal glands which have apparently decided to go on strike as well...and the best way to remedy this is apparently lots and lots of rest. It is the hardest thing in the world to have strong nesting instincts and to be told to just do nothing and(even worse) to ask other people to do it for you...ahrg... I hate letting people help me with things I feel capable of and even more I despise asking for help-but I have been-and its been a good lesson in humility for me. So please be praying that things will get back on track quickly after baby is born and that he will remain healthy despite his mamas broken down body.

Bronchitis

Went to the Dr. today because the sickness wasn't letting up...I have bronchitis. And she could not tell that I was pregnant...really!!!???

32 Weeks

I cannot tell you how quickly this pregnancy has gone by. It feels all so sudden that I am now really pregnant. It seems like time has just flown by...and I am nowhere near ready. me at 32 weeks

Honestly I don't know what I expected but I guess I thought that because this is the second time around that I would feel ready for what was to come this time. I mean I know what to expect so I should feel ready...right? Not so much.
What I do feel is nervous about unknowns. I have never really been in labour before... I had Owen a little over a month early and he was delivered by C-section when the induction process failed. I am trying it a whole new way this time...as I was not satisfied with the process last time(end result of Owen=awesome but the process...not a fan). I am not using an OBGYN I am using midwives at a birthing center(not a hospital) and I am going to-if all goes according to plan-have a vaginal birth. So all that is new and I have no clue what to expect from that. I find myself wondering how its all going to come together...reading books and researching the heck out of it just to find my self back to square one...no clue what lies ahead.

I also know that having another child in my charge day in and day out will have challenges and obstacles that I am still unaware of. I know its going to be amazing alot of the time but also hard and different. I am not even a professional at mothering the one I have yet so I am unsure of how I will manage two. Point in case: this week Owen drew with crayon(the hardest thing to get out)all over my living room walls-all 4 of them-and fire place. He toilet papered his room and the hall, and he pored watter(inches of it) all over the hard wood floors. He doesn't do this sort of thing often but it takes time to discipline and clean up after these types of messes.How will I find energy and capacity for this when I am divided?

This is an epic post...sometimes you just have to vent.. I know that having children is a reward from God and that I am truly blessed to have a second little in my belly growing strong and healthy. I know that the Lord will give me the strength to live on and to do his will. I just feel a little bit nervous...I will try and remember what is true. God is good and everything He does is for good even in my tiny life.

Sick again

I had all these grand plans to write about all the fun activites from our advent project but the last week has been brutal for me. I have yet another flu/cold and this one was a duzy. I think the worst is behind me now but I feel unmotivated and like any momentum I may have had prior to illness is now lost. Being 8 months pregnant and sick is probably the worst thing ever(I may be feeling a little dramatic). So now the task of breaking my child of his new found TV habit lies ahead of me(we watched alot of opb during this last week)hopefully he will embrace the oppertunity to do fun things outside and in the kitchen instead of on the couch. Please pray that I will stay healthy for the last months of this pregnancy...and that I will find a new reserve of energy to make this holiday season warm and delightful.
Speaking of delightful...
Owen posed for this picture at the Christmas tree farm completely un-prompted by anyone.

This time

Pregnancy is a kind of weird thing. I feel like there are pregnant people and everyone else...pregnant girls all follow fairly similar rules that only apply to pregnant girls and when we are together we all huddle around and discuss the similarities and differences in our pregnancies.

I just keep marveling at the differences in my experiences with pregnancy. I mean everyone has a different experience but usually one persons experiences with multiple pregnancies are pretty similar...not mine.
I was never morning sick with Owen...this time I was sick enough to loose weight until week 16.
I was addicted to sugar in my first go round...this time I like sweets but can pass them up.
I gained 55 lbs while pregnant with the baby who weighed only 5.5lbs of that...this time I have gained 10lbs(granted we are not finished yet but I have a feeling we aren't gonna break 40 this time)...
I had no stretch marks with the first pregnancy and... this time I have about 7(not giants but they look like they could be runners).
I feel way more tired this time as well...probably because I am older and running around after #1 all the time.

Those are just the physical differences...the emotional stuff is different this time round too. I guess you would have to ask M.G-to be sure-but I feel way more stable and less all around moodiness.

Some things never change...getting up every couple hours to go to the bathroom at night,needing the water I drink-all day long-to be heavily iced,my face being a puffy pregnant chub fest,my need for pinto beans-and Mexican food in general-sky rocketing,loving the feeling of my baby kicking,stretching and possibly doing some wii sports inside of my womb(I think I felt a bowling ball in there with him the other night for sure!)
Over all I feel like this is a better experience. I have had a few more physical symptoms this time but the emotional stability wins it for me.

This probably isn't a super exciting post for others to read but I wanted it written out for my own records.


Me at 26.5 weeks

Retro fitted

So I am finally showing!
At 23 weeks I don't just look chubby anymore I look mostly pregnant! The reason I have not just popped right on out(like I thought-and was told-I would in my second pregnancy) is because I have a retro-flexed uterus... sounds awesome right? It is-I mean kinda-it basically means my baby oven is tilting towards my back instead of my stomach which is fine. There is nothing wrong with that and there is no reason to worry its just different-which fits me really-so there ya go. I always forget the real term and just tell people who ask why Im not getting as round as fast as other pregnant ladies "its because of my retro fitted uterus"

BOY OH BOY!!

Dear sprout,
Your a boy!!! A son, a little brother , a nephew, a grandson and a great grand son!!! We are so excited for boy number two!

Letter to the Sprout

Dear tiny baby living inside my belly,
Having you on board has been a whole new experience for me. I have been sick, had about a million food aversions(ok lets face it I only like about 5 things to eat right now and everything else is out), I have this new uber sensitive gag reflex thats triggered by smells, seeing something undesireable, thinking about food I dont like, crying or coughing. My skin is plagued with teenage-esk acne, and my hair is not growing nearly as fast and glorious as I remember it growing last time. Basically this is the most opposite experience I could have from carrying your soon to be big brother around.

I don't mind though-I mean It is the last thing from fun-but feeling you move around in there and hearing your tiny little speedy heart beat makes it worth it. I know that you will be your very own person, that you wont be exactly like your brother, that you might not even be a boy...and I will love you who ever you are. You are already so very dear to me I am getting really excited to find out what kind of baby you will be. I know that I am in no way ready to be mother of two but I think it will grow on me and that its not something you can truly prepare for.

In just two or three weeks we will find out if you are a boy or a girl...we didn't do this with your brother...we waited until he was born... but with you I cant wait to know! So we will find out and give you a name and I will feel like I know you just a little bit more than I do today. Every one-except me-is convinced that you are a girl your G.G and Grammy and one good friend of mine even refer to you as a girl when they talk about you... soon we will see and we will all be excited no matter what!
That's pretty much all I have for you right now sprout. Keep growing and moving and I will see you soon.
Love Mama

Reality

This is the reality of my life right now.
4 hampers(and counting)full of clean unfolded laundry just hanging out in the living room-well technically they are in the office now because we had friends over last night and instead of folding them I moved them-waiting for attention

My sofa bed. I sleep here on the sofa every night alone because our attic convert bedroom is way too hot for my pregnant body.

One happy little. Just glad to be. He is a huge light in my life and I am so lucky he is such an easy going little guy.

So there you have it... the world as I know it. I would like to say that I am going to sign off and dig into that laundry but the sad truth is that I am just too tired and I am going to lay down on my sofa bed and pray for some sleep.

Yucks

I have the full blown prego yucks! I never had morning sickness with my pregnancy with Owen so this is all new and all terrible. I Have been an inch away from loosing it for the last few weeks and now I have. I ask that you pray for me as this seemingly never ending sickness encroaches on my sanity. As I try to care for Owen and make his life joyful in the midst of my misery.
On a side note the midwifes have informed me that feeling this bad is a great sign...that the pregnancy and baby are healthy and that my hormones are doing just what they should be doing... Which is hard to care about when your face is in the toilet(of course I do care it is all I want-and I would suffer a hundred times more for this sprout-but its hard to see the light at the end) So there is my life right now...not sure when I will share again... Probably when my attitude and my tummy are better.
Thanks for your prayers

#2

We are officially entering a new season of wonder around here. We are headed into the unknown and navigating away from normalcy, ease, familiar, and comfortable.

We are expecting our second baby!! That's right folks I am pregnant, with child,in the club, whatever you want to call it and I couldn't be happier!

It has taken me a long time to feel "ready" to get started on expanding the family but here I am with baby on board and I am as ready as anyone can really be. It is definitely grace that has me in this place of peace and I am intensely pleased to be receiving it.

So far this pregnancy is really different from my first. I am feeling the "morning sickness" all day long. I am craving meat all the time and lettuce... kinda weird but healthy enough... I am also feeling the strain(tiredness mostly and headaches)a little more through out the day. All in all things are going OK. I am able to power through most days on my own which is good.

So there you have it... The "sprout"-that's what we are calling the baby for now-is out of the bag.