Its been a rough season. Learning about grace and gratefulness while sighing and moaning through hard times...knowing its all for my good is all well and-well...good-but thats just knowledge or maybe its wisdom...could I even be wise?
A few weeks ago I sat on a park bench alone and looked up at the trees...my heart was breaking at the time. I was having a personal struggle. And my life just seemed hard.(little things like what type of shcooling to do for Owen and how to find the energy to clean and cook just all seemed to much.) As I lay on the bench and watched the trees I saw the leaves all start dancing in perfect unison. They were dappeled in sun light and rattling and adults moble song. This is a song I know...every time I allow myself to settel in for sit under a tree I become mezmorized. The leaves blowing and twisting are a gift to me...they queit my soul and still my heart. And I hear Him.
That day the leaves were dreanched in sun light and dancing and I was lost in the wonder of their beauty as they reflected His perfect Glory. I felt His voice say "you like the leaves on the trees can dance and worship bringing me praise wild and true... even as you groan with lifes pressures...the pressues I place there to refine you. Just as the leaves groan under the suns imense heat."
The leaves may have been bending beneath the heat of the sun but I would never have known. I could only see God...His perfect glory being reflected... Can I do that? Can I reflect him while I am groaning?
Can there be bloth? I know there can...its is all over the bible... people deligting in there suffering.
Mg sent me an article once about wine...it said that the best wine comes from the most infertile soil. that the sweetest grapes are grown in hard tough barren soil...how beautiful is that? That the Lord will use our rocky tough depressed patches to create glory for himself? That we can actually reflect His glory even in our most ugly spots...not that it wont be hard sometimes...but the fruit will be so much sweeter!
Beauty beyond our wildest dreams...
I love this. Your thoughts are beautiful. I can identify with so much of what you are saying. It is often very hard to process things and know what to do with the frustration and restless that comes from trials (I am finding this especially true/hard with trials that can't be shared about in most circles). God knows your heart. Praying for you! Thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDeletethank you!... I never know if what im writing is even understandable half the time. its so nice to know other people groan and sigh and want to shine through it too. :)
DeleteThis speaks to my heart too. I understand what you mean and I find myself often under a tree. Thank you for sharing. You've been on my heart and I will be praying for you.
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