Small gifts

Today Owen went to his grandmas to spend the night so I am sitting here in an absolutely silent house as Henry naps and it feels strange... but good. The weather is cloudy and and cool...well cooler than it has been. I like it... I feel like it is a precious gift. Sometimes gifts come in small packages like a cool day and a silent house. I am feeling rather loved in this moment with the breeze blowing sweet and cool on my face through the window. The rest of the day may be filled with a crazy list of to do's but right now-in this moment-I am resting in this lovely gift and I am grateful.
It is enough

Out of practice

In writing I feel completely out of practice. It's something you have to do regularly in order to stay loose. I have not felt loose in any matter lately especially in writing.

My life is rather mundane at present. So i feel almost no desire to write. Sometimes i forget to look for the joy.I do a lot of nursing the babe and a lot of trying to keep up with the house work while simultaneously trying to spend good quality time with Owen and make sure Henry naps enough... It is harder than it sounds.
We are home a lot. But we take a lot of walks and sing songs and read a lot too. It's hard having a limited schedule and somedays I feel a little insane.



But today its fun. Owen tells the baby stories and Henry laughs at him. There is joy here in the mundane. Joy in the form of brothers bonding and smiles and baby belly laughs. I just have to remember to look for it and know that It's enough.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Blah blah blah

I'm horrible at blogging. I have nothing new or poetic to say. I feel uninspired and often just too tired to bother... Which is sad because these boys of mine are cute, sweet, and funny every day.




I will bounce back eventually I'm sure...but this season is rough. I am ok with that every season is hard at times and crazy beautiful at others. Right now it's hard. I'm tired, I have little to no energy and I'm sad sometimes. What I'm trying not to do/be is sorry for myself. This will pass and there is plenty of lovely to get me through until then.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Dear Owen

Dear Owen,
You are a big brother now! Owen you are really good at being a brother. You love to kiss and snuggle your baby, you love to entertain him with songs, stories, harmonica playing, drumming, and toy shaking. You love helping me give baths and helping pick out Henry's clothes. You are very sweet and helpful!





You are great at making little Henry smile all the time... He loves to look at you.





So do I!
We started doing preschool at home this week and you love it! I picked a kindergarden curriculum called "Our Fathers World" I love it because its all planned out for me. You just love learning and having quality time with momma or papa.






You are growing up so quickly these days I can hardly stand it! At least you still love a good snuggle. I am very proud of the little man that you are. I love you!
Love momma

Dear Henry

Dear Henry,
You are 2.5 months old now. You weigh 10&1/2 lbs and are 23 inches long. You have settled into our family nicely. I'm still trying to find my rhythm as a momma of two. Some days I feel like I can barely scrape by and getting every one fed is a huge achievement. Other days we get out and about. It's a whole new ball game having two but I'm finding my stride...slowly.

You are a delightful little and we are all enjoying getting to know you. when you were 1month old you started smiling at everyone but me...you even smiled at the living room blinds before you smiled at me...I'm not holding a grudge tho. You smile at me all the time now.



Some things you love: nursing, swinging, being swaddled up, Smiling, being naked, sleeping(your doing an 8 hour stretch at night regularly now), kicking and stretching, baths, and of course your family.
Some things you hate: being burped, wet or soiled diapers(even for a minute), driving less than 50 mph, being cold, being tired, the hours between 5-9pm, and tummy time.

You look a lot like Owen did as a baby but you have some of your own distinct features too(like your nose and eyes). You are very verbal. You coo and jabber a lot and make any needs known with loud and boisterous demands.

Your brother makes up little songs to try and make you happy when you cry... Yesterday in the car he sang "there are no monsters in the car" over and over because he thought that "you might think that there were monsters in our car and that could be why you were having a hard time". You seem to really enjoy the attention.




You are a really sweet baby. I am just thrilled that you belong to us! Can't wait to see more of who you are.
Love momma


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I have been gone so long I hardly know where to start... First off Henry is a really sweet baby he sleeps well and eats well and he is loved by one and all. We have had a whole litany of issues the last couple months to try and get the milk supply up for him but he was un-phased by any and all attempts to make more milk... he just eats it and seems glad. I am now just recovering from mastitis and a cold. We are still working with my Dr. concerning my thyroid disease and trying to get that back on track A.S.A.P... Other than that we have been enjoying this new little and battening down the hatches a lot.

Owen really loves the tiny brother and is regularly overheard talking,singing to and and calling him sweet little nick names like little bobble head and tiny brother.

Henry is also known as little frogger because he has tiny little hips, a wide chest, long legs, and a wide mouthed smile! We love this smile!

Sweat little men.

Tiny toes

Ever since he was born he has been sticking his tongue out.


We even think he is cute when he cry's

Tiny fingers.

Henry's Birth Story

This photo is about a month old

Its been two months since you were born little Henry and I am just now starting to feel like I might be able to blog again. Having a new born is always hard on me and loosing my wonderful grams at the same time has made me slower to recover to my "normal".
Now my fingers are clumsy on the keys as I write-with you strapped to my chest-completely out of practice.
So here goes nothing...I hope I can do the event justice with the words in my still too fuzzy from having no sleep brain.
On February 13th I started to feel my first contractions they were 8 minutes apart and pretty strong...(keep in mind I never had contractions with Owen)...they kept getting closer together until they hit 6 minutes apart on the 14th I was hoping for a Valentines baby. I walked and squatted and took baths and showers and climbed stairs. Nothing made them stronger. We went in to the birth center and got checked( I needed for some progress to have been made) I was 95% effaced and 1.5 cm dilated. The midwife striped my membranes and did a hydro therapy treatment and sent us home to get some sleep...as if that were possible.
The contractions got closer together at about 4 am on the 15th they were about 5 min apart and they were more intense. We went into the birth center thinking this was it...It wasn't. My midwife could tell that I still was only in the early stages of labor. I was so discouraged and tired at this point. I had not slept for two nights and I just couldn't wrap my mind around things getting any more intense. Before we were sent home from the birth center My sweet midwife made us breakfast and gave me a Valerian root tonic to drink. She checked my progress and I was dilated to 4.5 cm but still not in active labor. I went home and was able to rest for an hour or so and then things started getting more interesting. I tried to keep upright but by 7pm there was only one position that felt good and that was sitting sorta leaned back with a heating pad on my back and squeezing the living daylights out of my husbands hand through each contraction.
By 11:30 pm on the 15th the contractions were about 4 minutes apart and I knew I had to go the the birth center. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the car ride if we waited any longer. We made it out there at about midnight(I made M.G drive really slow because the motion made me feel really sick). As soon as we arrived I got into the giant bath tub. My mom showed up a little while after us and I labored with her and M.G in the room for a couple hours. The midwives came in and out to check baby's heart rate but never stayed long...they like to just let you labor in peace. At some point I started to not be able to handle the contractions with out moaning any more(side note I had a nasty cold the week before that left me with no voice so my birth up to this point was basically silent) I then started voicing my ever growing concern that I would definitely not be able to handle what was going to happen.
That clued my midwife in that things might be getting close so she checked my progress again. As she checked me I told her that if I was only at a 6(not sure why I picked this number) we should make a pact that I could go and get a c-section because there was no way I could handle any more intensity(I never asked for drugs...not that they have them where I was but I did this once ask for a c-section). My mom then informed me that I would have to get out of the tub and walk to the car if I wanted to leave...I apparently said I cant get out of this tub mom... you had me at getting out of the tub. With that settled My midwife informed me that I was 9.5 cm dilated and I would be pushing a baby out any time.
She went out to get the team of midwifes and apprentices and they all came back in and watched, waited and encouraged me as I started to push-really my body started to push with out my permission and I just sorta went along un voluntarily for about 15 minutes... then I started to try a little harder. And finally-after changing positions in the tub so I was sitting in my favorite leaned back position-one of the midwifes suggested that I really try working with my body too and start pushing as soon as I felt the pressure and as long as I could...this worked. I pushed hard and I think I was loud about it too. I yelled(as loud as my voiceless self could) "GET. HIM. OUT. OF ME.NOW! After about 50 minutes of pushing my water finally broke and then in the next contraction I pushed out little Henry! I was so excited when they said the head was out that I didn't even pause to let him turn his shoulders...he barreled out of me in one push...which looking back is my one regret as I had to have some pretty nice repair work done later. Henry was placed on my chest and I was astonished by how familiar he looked...not just like Owen but so similar...He was definitely one of mine. I really did love him instantly.I was really impatient about delivering the placenta...I wanted so badly to be done birthing! Eventually it happened and we made it to the bed and after about an hour they cut his umbilical cord, did my repairs and then left us to bond and snuggle with our new son.We Loved our experience out of the hospital using Bella vie Gentle Birth Center! we felt supported and were meticulously looked after before during and after Henry's birth I couldn't recomend anything more!

The whole experience was just mind blowing. It would be impossible for me to deny there is a creator after this whole extravaganza (not that I would any way..but just sayin'). It was the most physically and emotionally demanding thing I have ever done to date.
It doesn't make me feel more like a mom because I gave birth this way(I was a mom already and I am still that same gal). It does make me feel proud! It does make me know I am loved by my Father in heaven. It makes me want to sing praises from the roof tops because He met me there and gave me one of my hearts hugest desires...to do birth the way my body was intended to. I feel different for sure I am so confident in my resolve and strength in Christ. I know now more than ever that there is always something so beautiful after the storm. I know some people don't have to push a baby out to realize this... but hey I did. I am thankful.

I will be back soon much more often... so many fun stories to tell. and a whole new person to share with you all.