For Marilynn

It's my grams birthday today. She died 7 months ago. I love her and miss her still. So I thought I would write her a letter. I know it's a silly thing to do but I feel like it will help me deal with the missing in some way...and there is no silly way to grieve.

Dear grams,
I miss you so very much today. The other day I thought of the fact that there would be no party for you this year,no presents,no cake. It hurts. I'm glad your not here suffering in a body rife with cancer... but I am still grieving the loss if you in my life.
Owen is growing so much and he is very handsome. He asks about you from time to time and I am delighted that he knew you and loved you and even more that he remembers you.
Henry is a beautiful baby! You would love to kiss the nape of his neck... His sweet falsetto voice would just slay you! I'm so happy you got to hold him and smell him and sing to him before you left us. It is a memory I will cherish forever.
Thank you for being a wonderful grandmother. Thank you for loving me and spoiling,for teaching me generosity. Thank you for living your life with a gracious and happy heart it has made a serious mark on my life. Thank you for all the marks you left on my life-for there are too many to list here.
I wish I could have told you one last time how I loved you! I know you knew it though. I still find myself thinking about you as if your here sometimes and then I snap out if it and find myself lonely for you yet glad I could remember you so vividly that it feels your still here.
I know that your life lives on in those you have touched. I can feel your love shining through my mom all the time. I can hear a hint of your laughter in my sisters every so often and I know we carry you with us in our hearts.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)E.E Cummings
Happy Birthday.

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