Last summer I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder. and PTSD. I started a course of mood stabilizers right away and began feeling better, it was amazing, until about 6 months later when we realized I am allergic to the medication. So now I am taking nothing. No medication at all except thyroid hormone replacement therapy. I have to admit that I am scared. all of the other medication choices for this disorder have heavy side effects and my body is kind a wreck right now as it is (with the thyroid stuff and the recent allergic reaction) I really don't want to try something new right now. I am in therapy for the PTSD and if all goes well it may lessen the occurrence of swings.
For me Bipolar2 and PTSD present themselves in a way that make me very irritable when I am hypo-manic and devastatingly depressed when I am not. I also am prone to severe panic attacks seemingly brought on by nothing, but in reality there is a (invisible to me) trigger from the past that sets me spinning. I am rarely in a middle ground, but I am right now. I can feel the edges all around the middle though and feel no security here.
I have known for a while that this is the kind of suffering the bible talks about and that it is working things out for good. I am still crippled by it (as much I would like to always see the higher ground) and sometimes fall into cursing,blaming and self pity.
Please be praying for me that I will stay in my middle ground and not slip back into catatonic depression. Please pray that I will look to God for security and healing, Pray (if you have the heart to) that my therapy would lead to recovery. And especially pray a hedge of protection around my family as I know it is a burden my husband and small son carry on their shoulders as well. (I am not easy to be around a lot of the time though I try my hardest). I feel that only petitions to God are keeping me on solid ground.
Thank You
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