a stream of conscience

I haven't felt the desire to write in a long time. I keep thinking I should really update my blog... but the task seems cumbersome and I cant make myself want to. I want to get back to the place where writing is cathartic and something I feel passion for... I guess I will just start by writing more often and see if those old feelings return.
My life lately has seemed slow moving and hurried all at once. Slow because our lives have been rather metered, rushed because I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.
 I started homeschooling Owen and although  it is not as hard as I thought, it still seems to be a mental challenge to rise to the occasion everyday. I know some of you are probably more than a little surprised that I am homeschooling-and honestly so am I-but it is the right thing for our family in this season of life. Owen loves learning and is disappointed the days we don't do school. I am less passionate about it... still I know it is the best thing for us... so I am muddling through it day by day.
Its funny how my days seems to drag on then fly by. We have a great routine right now... we wake and have a family snuggle up on our bed. Then we eat brecky and tidy up a bit. Then Henry naps while Owen and I do school. We then do whatever the day calls for and the have lunch then rest and then a little more of this or that then dinner, bath, stories, and bed. Some times I think that the day will last forever that the bed time and kissing the boys goodnight is a far away dream. Other days I cant hold on to the sweetness of the the passing minutes to save my life.
Its nice... and yet my heart longs for adventure on a grander scale. I don't know what business my heart has longing for such a thing when we are doing great with  the simple things in life...but there you have it. I find myself dreaming of travel and hiking and open sea sailing-I have never even been on the open seas-I want to sail! Maybe not literally... but I have the yearning that I always get before a big change.
I want to be out there -you know in the world-making a difference... but doing what? For whom? With who's energy? All questions yet unanswered.
Yes I feel a change brewing-something is happening in our lives-and I don't know when but I sure know its a-coming. This season of simplicity is good, its a gift, a rest before the big adventure ahead. I will enjoy the slow pace while it lasts instead of impatiently fidgeting for the end of the day. I will drink in the smell of little heads and blowing bubbles. I will let the sound of my children's perfect laughter fill my soul with joy and I will wait and see what our-certainly interesting-future will hold.