Stream of conscious

We went on another fall walk yesterday. I can tell that the leaves are going to be gone in a week or so. I really wanted the chance to enjoy them again before their fire and gold brilliance is gone and we are left with nothing but gray for 5 months.




When we go on walks together I make sure and answer(well try to anyway) every question you ask. I ask your opinion on things like the sound of crunchy leaves under our feet and patiently listen to your 10 minute responses. It is good for me to hear you. It helps me to know you...to know your heart and soul.



I feel a little nervous sometimes about having another child in my care...I don't know what it will be like to have two kids or to raise "boys" plural. How will I ever get to really know this baby the way I know you little O? We have been just you and me for so long now that its hard to even imagine it any other way. I am a little afraid of what is to come and how my life will change, but I am so excited to meet this new person God is making inside me. I know he is someone very important for our lives and that we need him in ways we are not even sure of yet... I feel so glad to have this opportunity and so terrified of it at the same time.



Owen you are the one who mad me a momma and I am so happy that you did... it just seems foreign to think that I will be someone elses momma too... I hope that doesn't sound like I'm not excited about it because I am...but its a whole new world that's completely uncharted for me and I am a slow explorer.